If you’re falling in the trap of stalking your ex on social media – or notice that they are keeping tabs on your life through your posts and stories – it’s best to unfriend/unfollow/block and create a distance that will allow you both to move on. Why? Let’s delve deeper into the perils of social media stalking to understand.
What Is Stalking?
While some people move on from breakups with a little effort, others find it hard to let go. What happens when an ex is not willing to let go, is best shown in the Hollywood movie Fatal Attraction. The ex played by Glenn Close wreaks havoc in Michael Douglas’ life and even tries to kill him. Stalking your ex is human nature. It is a desperate attempt to see what the ex-flame is up to. This comes from the possessiveness that one feels in love, which is augmented when the relationship doesn’t work out but you’re not ready to let go. People go to an extreme extent to keep a track of their exes. In this digital age, online stalking has made it even easier to keep a track of your ex’s life without consequences or landing in legal trouble. It may start casually but can blow up into an almost obsessive need if not stopped in time. To stop talking ex on social media, you need some serious willpower.
7 Ways In Which People Stalk Their Exes On Social Media
If you’re wondering ‘why is my ex stalking me’, you should know that there is no substantial reason. Everyone does it. And yes, if you think it’s just girls who indulge in this, you’re wrong – guys do stalk their exes on social media. In our college, the moment the students stepped through the gates, half of the population was in love. While most of the relationships lasted long enough to see the convocation ceremony, some of them, couldn’t even survive the freshman year examinations. College was a time when hormones were raging wild and some students had multiple affairs in a short span of time. This obviously resulted in a lot of breakups and heartbreaks. Here are some really interesting instances I’ve seen in my personal life. Some of my friends have channelized the stalker lurking inside them, so diabolically, well, they can run their own intelligence agencies.
1. Fake profiles
My batch mate Jaya didn’t take her break-up too well. She couldn’t get over her ex-boyfriend and was shell-shocked when she found out that he had blocked her on all social media sites. She made fake Instagram and Twitter profiles to stalk him and find out where he was in life without her. She didn’t handle the separation like an adult, and her use of social media increased substantially. It was only later when she started dating someone new that she got over her ex.
2. Going undercover
Ruchika, an acquaintance from my undergraduate course, had only been in one serious relationship in her life. After she split with her boyfriend, she asked her friend, “Why is my ex stalking my social media?” Her friend replied that he may be lonely, and she should forget about it because everyone does it. But she couldn’t let it go. She was just as curious and wanted to know all that he was doing with other girls. After her breakup, she actually went undercover to a club where her boyfriend was having a party, just to see whether he was dancing or flirting with other girls.
3. Arranging a fake date
Patricia, a friend I made during an internship, actually landed up in the same restaurant where her ex-boyfriend had gone on a date. She was all dressed and chose a seat facing her ex. Of course, she had a fake date in tow. The boyfriend was clearly aghast and we all had a good laugh at how Priyanka managed to ruin a perfect date. This was funny for us, but not for the ex, I am sure.
4. Following the tags
My sister’s friend Jennifer would stalk every person who would tag her ex-boyfriend in pictures on social media just to find leads to whether he had started dating someone else. While the boyfriend had clearly moved on, Jennifer wasn’t willing to accept that she was now single. It took her months but she finally admitted out loud, “I stalk my ex on social media”. The realization hit her and although it took time, she eventually got around to stop stalking her ex on social media.
5. Tailing like a detective
My friend Shubhangi, from my dance class, wasn’t ready to believe that her ex-boyfriend had moved on. She was a bit obsessive, and apart from the daily social media stalking, she even took to keeping an eye on his daily routine. She asked a mutual friend, who went to the same tuition classes as her ex, to give her a detailed report every single day, about him.
6. Staying in the circle
People who are seeing each other often hang out in the same circle. I have seen some people make the extra effort to stick to the same circle even after the relationship is over just so that they could keep a tab on their ex. They also see it as a great way to keep in touch with exes, bumping into them at parties, birthdays and nightclubs. If there was a handbook on what not to do after a breakup, such behavior would top the list. I know a friend who would call up the party host to ensure she got an invitation to the same party as her ex. She didn’t care if she looked desperate, she just wanted to watch her ex and make sure he wasn’t having too good of a time.
7. Hacking
This is an extreme step but a friend didn’t shy away from it. She hacked into her boyfriend’s email and discovered that he was already with someone else. She took printouts of the intimate email conversations and sent them to all his family members, colleagues and even bosses. These experiences clearly show the extent of social media stalking and why it can lead to unnecessary unpleasantness between exes. Social media does have its perks, but after a tough breakup, you may want to consider taking a hiatus for a little bit.
