Whether it’s in our genes, situations, choices, decisions, and circumstances cheating happens more than you think it does. Especially if we consider that we as a society have monogamy as a basic standard on how we form and continue romantic relationships. It’s even more ironic when we consider the fact that infidelity is widely shamed in many societies, in some countries even dealt with punishments; and yet, people still do it. That leaves room for people to lie and hide the cheating as well, hence the data shown by surveys, studies, and research aren’t 100% accurate. “Would someone – who cheated on a person that loves them – admit cheating to a researcher?” A person who’d be able to lie and cheat on their loving partner wouldn’t be very easy to predict whether they’d confess to a researcher or not. About what nationality cheats the most, what percentage of couples cheat, what are the reasons, timing, age, gender and so much more, we’ve summed up what the cheating statistics reveal!
Infidelity statistics – What is cheating/infidelity & how common is it among us?
Infidelity or cheating is being unfaithful through an action that betrays your partner’s trust; It could be kissing, flirting, sex, connecting emotionally in a romantic sense, texting/sexting with someone else other than your partner without their consent, etc.
- As to what is considered to be infidelity it depends on the individual’s perspective, hence the data and the statistics might not be 100% accurate. The percentage of marriages that experience infidelity is 18-20%. While 79% of the wives who assume that their husbands are involved in infidelity are right, around 62% of husbands who assume that their wives are involved in infidelity are right. Source: Affairs of the Heart – Global Investigations Cheating is pretty common in relationships and marriages, especially with the advancement of technology and the internet. The opportunities to cheat are numerous, but so are the chances to get caught. Despite the assumptions and suspicions, infidelity is quite frequent among us, and the statistics back this up quite well! Cheating is getting worse, the statistics show this quite clearly: – 44% of people cheat on their partner – A study made on unmarried men and women that were romantically involved in a monogamous relationship. Source: PMC – About 30–40% of relationships (unmarried) experience infidelity; while 18–20% of relationships (married) experience infidelity Source: Wikipedia – Emotional affairs are more frequent than any other type of infidelity. Around 90% of women and around 77% of men worldwide admit to having committed an emotional affair. Source: Truth About Deception – 70% of all Americans engage in at least some type of infidelity. Source: Survey by Marriage and Divorce – 20 to 40% of married American men and 20 to 25% of married American women (heterosexual marriages) will have an affair at some point in their lives. Source: TedIdeas – One in five English people had an affair at some point in their lives. Source: YouGov – One in five Americans admit to being unfaithful to their partner. Source: YouGov – 46% of English people admitted to having affairs (monogamous relationships). Source: Health Testing Centers (Number of people in the survey: 441) – 36% of people in the UK have admitted to engaging in infidelity. Source: Statista Infidelity is pretty common in open relationships too, even though there’s an agreement to have multiple partners from both sides. – In the USA: 19% of the individuals involved in open relationships admitted sexual cheating without their partner’s consent. Source: YouGov
Men or women? Who cheats more, men or women?
The cheating statistics show that both husbands and wives cheat in heterosexual marriages. Both men and women cheat on their partners, even though in an exclusive romantic relationship. The fact that both men and women cheat is more than obvious. For years and years, it’s been reported that men cheat more than women do whether in a married or an unmarried relationship. Things have been shifting in many areas and aspects of contemporary human life. Depending on the type of infidelity, men and women seem to be cheating pretty much the same, at least according to studies, statistics, and surveys done on men and women. Whether boyfriends or girlfriends cheat more, that’ll be up to statistics to show us. Let’s see what gender cheats more, shall we?! – 90% of women and 77% of men admit to committing emotional infidelity. Estimating that women cheat more than men when it comes to emotional infidelity. Source: Truth About Deception – 72% of men and 53% of women admit cheating through one-night stands. Estimating that men cheat more than women through one-night stands. Source: Truth About Deception – 40% of women and 30% of men admit to having cheated through cyber sex. Source: Truth About Deception – 20% of men and 13% of women admit to having cheated sexually on their spouse (married) – a gender difference that’s consistent from 2000 to 2016. The data gets updated daily, however, these are approximate numbers that seem to be around stable during the time. This is a high number of respondents considering that most surveys and studies include only a few thousand respondents when coming up with results, hence, this seems to be more of a reliable source to be involved. Source: General Social Survey (13,030 participants worldwide) – In the USA: 2% of men and only 1% of women paid for or received payment for sex. Source: GSS – In the USA: 25% of men and 15% of women cheat on their spouses. Source: NYTimes: American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – 37% of American men and 17% of American women in dating and relationships cheated sexually on their partner. Source: The National Health and Social Life Survey – 16% of American men and 8% of American women who were living with their partners cheated sexually on their partners. Source: The National Health and Social Life Survey – In the UK 20% of men and 19% of women in the UK have engaged in infidelity at least once. Source: YouGov – 60% of single men have tried wooing someone who’s taken. Source: Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher – About 53% of single women admit they’ve tried to get another person to leave a committed relationship for them. Source: Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher According to the statistics, men still cheat more than women. Even though numbers keep changing, shifting, rising, and lowering this truth has been still despite the close numbers that the statistics have shown.
Getting caught or confessing? How soon after infidelity?
The statistics have shown us that infidelity in marriages, in relationships (whether they’re open or not) is pretty common, at least more common than we want it to be. Since it’s considered to be morally wrong by many of us, how many of those to practice infidelity confess? How many get caught, and how do they get caught? The statistics have the answers to those and more! – Around 48% of women who cheated reported that their partner found the truth about it. Source: Truth About Deception – 39% of men who cheated reported that their partner found out about it. Source: Truth About Deception – 21% of the cheaters are caught because of the partner’s investigation due to suspicion that their partner is cheating. Source: Truth About Deception (number of people in the survey: 25,829) – Nearly 57% of the cheaters willingly confess to their spouses that they’ve cheated on them. Source: Truth About Deception – 8.3% of the cheaters confessed to their spouse about cheating when asked/accused. Source: Truth About Deception – 8% of the cheaters have been caught cheating accidentally by their spouse. Source: Truth About Deception – 4.5% of the cheaters have been caught cheating by third parties. Source: Truth About Deception – 52.4% of cheaters in relationships confess within a week. Source: Health Testing Centers – 30% of the married women knew of their spouse’s infidelity, while for married men the number is higher and it stands at 46% Source: Health Testing Centers – 47.9% of people in marriages said that they’d confess within 6 months or longer Source: Health Testing Centers – 29.2% of those in marriages said they’d confess within a week Source: Health Testing Centers – 20.4% of those within a relationship who admitted to the same Source: Health Testing Centers – In the USA: Around 48% of people admitted their infidelity to someone else, but never admitted it to their partner. Source: Health Testing Centers – In the USA: 47% of people confessed to their partner in the first week of cheating. Source: Health Testing Centers – In the USA: 26% of people confessed to their partner in the first month of their affair. Source: Health Testing Centers – In the USA: 25% of people took 6 months or more to confess their affair to their partner. Source: Health Testing Centers – In the USA: 53% of the cheaters who got an STI through cheating, had confessed to their partner about it. Source: Health Testing Centers
Time – How long does the cheating last? & Do cheaters cheat again?
There’s this “falling-in-love” phase that lasts for around 6 months or slightly more than that. Well, turns out, most affairs are short-term and most of them don’t last longer than 6 months. That is also backed up by research from the Zur Institute which concluded that most affairs are short-term and don’t go beyond that “falling-in-love” phase. These are statistics of repeated infidelity, meaning affair statistics that show that infidelity is often not just an “it happened once” thing. It seems that cheaters do cheat again. …and again, and again. Though the affairs don’t last long, cheating seems to be repeatedly happening for weeks, even months: – Nearly 67% of men and 53% of women have reported cheating more than once on their spouse. Source: Truth About Deception – 65% of the affairs end within 6 months. Source: WECT News – 25% of the affairs last less than a week. Source: WECT News – 10% of the affairs are long-term affairs. Source: WECT News – 45% of the people who admit cheating on their partner in their first relationship, cheated in their second relationship too. Source: Psychology Today – Individuals who cheated in the past are more prone to cheating in upcoming relationships with 3 times more likeability. Source: the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior – In the UK: Only half of the people who’d admitted cheating stopped at one affair. Source: YouGov – In the UK: 20% of the people who’d admitted cheating had three or more affairs. Source: YouGov – In the UK: 8% of the people who’d admitted cheating had done so 5 or more times. Source: YouGov – In the USA: 42% of the people who’d been divorced admitted to having engaged in more than one affair. Source: The APA
The place & the person – Where and with whom does the infidelity/cheating take part?
Cheating statistics show that cheating is practiced mostly at work (with a coworker), on business trips, with someone that the partner knows, and with a friend who for a moment got closer than usual. Research, studies, polls, and surveys once again proved the words: – Nearly 44% of women and 22% of men have cheated with someone their spouse knows. Source: Truth About Deception – 62% of men and 57% of women admitted to engaging in infidelity on a business trip. Source: Gleeden (surveyed 8,000 people) – 36% of men and women admit committing infidelity with a co-worker (spending more time with the co-worker than with their spouse). Source: Associated Press Journal of Marital and Family Therapy – 17% of those committing infidelity, do so with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law (emotional or sexual infidelity). Source: BrandonGaille – In the USA: 40% of women and nearly 33% of men who admitted to having cheated on their partner said they cheated with a friend. Source: A study on 2,000 people – In the USA: 33% of women and 28% of men who admitted to having cheated on their partner said they cheated at work. Source: A study on 2,000 people – In the USA: 12% of women and 19% of men who admitted to having cheated on their partner said they cheated with someone they’ve met at a bar. Source: A study on 2,000 people – In the UK: 43% of the individuals who cheated, did so with a friend. Source: YouGov – In the UK: 38% of the individuals who cheated, did so with a coworker. Source: YouGov – In the UK: 18% of the individuals who cheated, did so with someone they didn’t know. Source: YouGov – In the UK: 12% of the individuals who cheated, did so with an ex. Source: YouGov – In the UK: 8% of the individuals who cheated, did so with a neighbor. Source: YouGov – In the UK: 3% of the individuals who cheated, did so with a partner’s relative. Source: YouGov – In the UK: 0.71% of women had an affair with their father-in-law. Source: Scribbler – In the UK: 5% of women kissed their father-in-law/partner’s father. Source: Scribbler
Age – How is cheating related to age?
As surprising as it may sound, the adultery statistics are also related to age. The happily ever after is on the edge once the individuals in the marriage reach their 65s: it might just fall off the cliff. Here’s how marriages and relationships handle the issue of infidelity through their age: – Couples under 30 seem to be more prone to be affected by infidelity. Source: TAD – In heterosexual marriages, in most cases, men cheat on their wives with someone younger than their wives. Source: TAD – In the USA: 11% of people aged 18-34 admit to having cheated on their partner. Source: NORC – In the USA: 17% of the people aged 35-64 admit to having cheated on their partner. Source: NORC – In the USA: 18% of people aged 65+ admit to having cheated on their partner. Source: NORC – In the USA: 25% of men and 10% of women aged 65 have cheated on their partner. Source: NORC – In the USA: 12.9% of women and 15.9% of men aged 18-24 have cheated. Source: National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago
Reasons – Is it a longing for fulfillment or just an affair that “meant nothing to me”?
As adultery is considered to be one of the most unforgivable things you can do to someone you love, the ones who do it provide us with reasons and justifications. At times it’s a longing for sexual fulfillment, at times for emotional fulfillment, at it worse: a habit one has a hard time getting rid of. Here, are statistics on the reasons people cheat, unfiltered: – Nearly 35% of women and 26% of men have cheated on their spouse because they were bored with the sex life. Source: Truth About Deception – 73% of women and 48% of men reported cheating because of the problems that were part of their relationships. Source: Truth About Deception – 30% of women and 15% of men have cheated to get even with their spouse. Source: Truth About Deception – Married women are about 25% more likely than men to say they cheated because of marital problems. Source: Helen Fisher – 56% of men who cheat say they’re happily married. Source: Helen Fisher – 57% of women who cheat are in love with their lovers. Source: Helen Fisher – USA: The reason to admit cheating – confessing – is guilt for 47% of the people. Source: Health Testing Center – UK: 56% of men and 34% of women who cheated on their partners said that their relationship with their partner was a happy one. Source: Shirley Glass The most common reasons why people involve in infidelity (no particular order):
Need for emotional fulfillmentNeed for sexual fulfillmentNeed for attentionPast unhealed traumasInfluence of the alcoholRevenge on their partnerChildhood traumaAttachment style and security
Marriages/relationships after cheating – A new possibility or destruction?
As surprising as it may sound, most marriages and relationships decisions to give it another try after they’ve been nearly destroyed by the touch of infidelity. Some people get away with it, some don’t. Some marriages and relationships survive the destructive touch of infidelity, some don’t. The shocking statistics on how relationships and/or marriages handle infidelity reveal: – 2%-3% of children are a result of infidelity (some are raised by “fathers” that have no clue they’re not their biological fathers). Source: Truth About Deception – 76% of people who found out that their partner is having a secret contact have tried to work the relationship out. Source: Truth About Deception – 72% of people who found out their partner is cheating on them decided to try to work things out. Source: Truth About Deception – 20% of people who found out their partner is cheating on them decided to break up. Source: Truth About Deception – 7.5% of the couples worked out the problem of infidelity and recovered trust in the relationship. Source: Truth About Deception – If the partner who engaged in infidelity resists answering questions asked by their partner, the relationship is 59% less likely to survive. Source: Survey by Peggy Vaughan (1,083 people) – In the USA: More than 50% of people in relationships say that they would break up or divorce if they’d find out their partner was cheating. Source: Gallup – In the USA: 54% of those confessing to their partner about their affair ended up being broken up. Source: Health Testing Centers – In the USA: 15% of those confessing to their partner about their affair are still together. Source: Health Testing Centers – In the USA: 17% of divorces happen due to adultery. Source: Right Lawyers – In the UK: 14% of people who got cheated on took their partner back. Source: YouGov – In the UK: 75% of people who got cheated on didn’t take their partner back. Source: YouGov
Income & education – What does it have to do with cheating?
Income and education are yet other factors that influence the fate of a relationship or marriage regarding infidelity. Here’s what income and education have to do with the American people involved in adultery: – The wealthy are more likely to engage in infidelity. Source: WashingtonPost – 15% of people who cheat in America have a High school degree or less. Source: General Social Survey – 18% of people who cheat in America have started college education (most didn’t finish it). Source: General Social Survey – 16% of people who cheat in America have completed college or higher education. Source: General Social Survey – In the USA:15% of men who depend on their spouses for financial income, will cheat. Source: ASA – In the USA: One earning less than the other within married heterosexual partners (age: 18-32) is more prone to infidelity. Source: American Sociological Association, researcher Christin L. Munsch – In the USA: 15% of the men who earned less than their wives (depending on their wives in this area) have engaged in infidelity. Source: American Sociological Association, researcher Christin L. Munsch – In the USA: 5% of the women who were not dependent on their husbands for their income engaged in infidelity. Source: American Sociological Association, researcher Christin L. Munsch
Race, countries & culture – Cheating statistics by country
The infidelity statistics worldwide don’t have much good news for us. The cheating husbands and wives are revealed in numbers through the infidelity statistics by country. Studies have shown that in most countries and cultures, infidelity is considered to be one of the wrongest things one can do. In some countries it is considered a crime, in some, it isn’t. Source: Pew Research Center The most unfaithful countries are reported to be: Source: Statista – 22% of black people reported cheating on their partner. Source: DeseretNews – 16% of white people reported cheating on their partner. Source: DeseretNews – 13% of Hispanic people reported cheating on their partner. Source: DeseretNews – In the USA infidelity is an offense crime in 17 states. Source: Wikipedia – In the Philippines adultery is a crime. Source: Wikipedia – 91% of Americans believe that an affair is morally wrong. The study shows that Americans believe that having an affair is more wrong morally than cloning humans. Source: Gallup
LGBTQ+ and cheating in America
Cheating is present in same-sex relationships too. Although the relationships and marriages in the LGBTQ+ community seem to be more prone to be open and/or polyamorous, infidelity is strongly present just as much as it is in heterosexual relationships/marriages. Here’s how common infidelity is among the LGBTQ+ community in America: – 18% of bisexual individuals reported cheating on their partner. Source: National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior – 14% of homosexual men reported cheating on their partner. Source: National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior – 6% of homosexual women reported cheating on their partner. Source: National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior – 12% of bisexual women reported cheating on their partner. Source: National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior
Internet infidelity – Everything about virtual cheating
Statistics show that cheating websites help in this area quite a lot (e.g Ashley Madison). Cheating websites, dating apps, and porn sites make adultery an easy thing to do, and very practical too. According to statistics, the most common practice of internet infidelity is practiced through phone contact, explicit sex talks online, real-time sex online, etc. The worst part of this sad truth is that a big percentage of those who practice such ways of infidelity are addicted to them. Here are the precise numbers: – 42% of Tinder users aren’t single. Source: DatingZest – 9% of people are not addicted (but practice) and 38% are addicted to cheating through explicit sex talk online. Source: Netaddiction – 12% of people are not addicted (but practice) and 37% are addicted to: cheating through masturbation online. Source: Netaddiction – 14% of people are not addicted (but practice) and 42% are addicted to having an online affair. Source: Netaddiction – 18% of people are not addicted (but practice) and 50% are addicted to: cheating through phone contact. Source: Netaddiction – 13% of people are not addicted (but practice) and 31% are addicted to: cheating through real-time sex. Source: Netaddiction – Last year 17% of people in all dating apps were there so they could cheat. Source: YouGovNYpost
How to recover from infidelity – Should you forgive, or walk away?
Being cheated on is a very difficult and damaging experience to go through. Yet, it’s something from which you can grow and learn new ways of accepting and seeing yourself.
- Take some time to yourself to think the situation through, to be in touch with what it caused you. Sit down and have a moment to calm down and process the emotions – the feeling of betrayal is undeniably overwhelming. After that, try to sort it out with yourself, try to get in touch with what you’re feeling, and the emotions the situation is causing you to experience. See if that is manageable, and see if that’s something you’d go through for your partner and the relationship. If the situation is too overwhelming, and you feel like this is something you’re not able to manage well, then seek the help of a therapist.
- Have a conversation with your partner: ask the right questions and the right amount of questions. After taking your time to process everything, you can have a conversation with your partner. A conversation through which you ask the questions that are bothering you. “What did you do with him/her?” or “How did he/she touch you?” wouldn’t help you to solve much of the puzzle if you’re looking for ways to save the relationship or have peace of mind. Instead, you can try a “Why?” or “What was the motive behind this behavior?”. Ask anything that’d give you peace of mind, and collect the information you need to feel at peace with yourself.
- Make a decision that feels right to you. It isn’t easy, it leaves you restless, stressed, and with a head full of doubts. See yourself from a place of acceptance instead of a place of judgment and blame. Once you find yourself in a calmer place and state of mind try to decide on where the relationship is going to go from now on: is your relationship over, or is it something you can try to work out?
- Heal from the experience, try to learn and grow from it. Take your time to slowly but subtly heal from the experience. Eventually, you’ll learn and grow from it. Don’t judge, blame, or shame yourself for giving or not giving what you gave, and don’t give in the relationship. Surround yourself with loving and caring people, and practice activities that bring you joy, and allow you to release your energy. Your healing depends on you and your decisions. Callisto
