When inviting someone over to your dorm room was the most intimate thing you could do and getting high together was just as good as taking a trip together, dating in college definitely had its charm. Even if all you could afford to give your lover was a button and a handkerchief on their birthday. As you might have noticed, dating as an adult seems starkly different from your wild college stories. Each all-nighter feels worse than the last, cheap booze starts to become intolerable, and the foreign concept of personal space is now becoming more important.
The Differences Of Dating In College Vs Dating As Adults
When you were just starting to date and even hook up with people, you probably learned a few things along the way. Let’s take a look at how college relationships are different from dating as an adult, even if it means having to think about your toxic ex for a while. It’ll be fun, we promise.
1. There’s a respite in possessiveness
“Wait, why did s/he tag our senior in our group picture but didn’t tag me? S/he’s definitely cheating on me” “Did s/he literally walk past me to sit with a friend instead? That’s it, I’m done with this” “S/he actually went to college when I said I wouldn’t be going today? Is s/he ASKING for a breakup? Because that’s what’s coming.” You get the gist. Dating in college was probably filled with abandonment anxiety. A flirty comment from your partner’s “friend” on their Instagram would be reason enough to Google “how to deal with heartbreak”. When you’re dating as an adult, you realize a girl’s/boy’s night out doesn’t equal cheating. Personal space is more than just 2 hours of not texting each other and you can’t control what the thirsty “friends” comment on your S.O’s posts.
2. From rags to (somewhat) riches
In college, all you really have money for is a packet of ramen noodles each. If you’re feeling extra feisty, the chocolate milk accompanied with it turns it into a gourmet meal. The beers are cheap, the alcohol is basically pure methanol and there isn’t much difference between your fancy and your college outfits. When you start dating after college, however, things start to change. You realize you can buy your partner a lot more on their birthday than just a knock-off purse from an Instagram thrift account. The restaurants get fancier, you don’t buy the corner movie theatre seats anymore and you realize that the mall’s food court isn’t a date. Ps, if you were one of those rich kids who was loaded on cash, you don’t get to complain about anything. We all hated Gregg with his LV belts and Burberry perfumes.
3. You’ve now majored in communication
No longer will you be sending messages across through friends. No, your friend delivering a “S/he told me to tell you to not talk to Jason anymore or we’re over” isn’t going to do much for you. Sorry. In college, a minor inconvenience calls for blocking each other, only to unblock after a week and break the silence by sending the stupidest meme you can find. Needless to say, you weren’t the best at communicating your needs when your ability to vocalize your thoughts was limited to “Idk” and “Why is the vibe so off?” When you’re dating after college, you realize that “hmmph” and “K” don’t count as communicating. You realize not being posted on their Instagram doesn’t call for the silent treatment and that good communication involves more than getting wasted together.
4. You start having better sex
Sure, you might’ve thought you were the best at sex back in your college days. You knew all about the g-spot, all about oral, and you totally knew what a queef is. It definitely didn’t send you into a fit of laughter. If you think back, you’ll realize sex in college, while you might’ve had a lot of it, wasn’t really the best it could’ve been. You probably don’t even remember half of it, since you were drunk off your mind. When you have sex after a bit of experience, you finally realize doing it sober is a LOT better than getting it on whilst drunk. You know your way around each other’s bodies and it usually ends in an orgasm, not because something’s started to hurt. Queefs are still funny, though.
5. Not everybody knows
For some reason, everyone knew who was dating and who wasn’t, back in college. The Instagram photos you constantly uploaded of each other probably didn’t help keep it a secret. Classmates, professors, the janitorial staff, everybody was in on the goings-on of your dating life. If you grew up and grew out of social media, you’ll realize that not too many people know about your relationships now. Maybe it’s a good thing too. If you work in the same office and the “culture” there doesn’t welcome relationships, it’s best you keep it on the down-low. Quick, Janice from HR is coming, put your work faces on! Without a doubt, dating in college is fun. But you know what’s more fun? Being able to give each other orgasms just through foreplay. So don’t go out saying, “When did we get so boring?!” just yet. Just because your idea of recreation is now letting Netflix play whatever it wants instead of binge-drinking doesn’t mean your relationships are boring. As you saw, you’re better off than you thought.
