When you realize that your boyfriend is ignoring you, all you want to do is to give him the same silent treatment that he is giving you. Yes, we understand the urge to give him a taste of his own medicine, but this reaction may be counterproductive because giving him the silent treatment might only push him further away from you. So, what to do when your boyfriend ignores you? What to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you? What to do to tide over this rough patch in your relationship without causing any permanent damage. We’re here to answer these questions for you with some smart tips on how to distance yourself from your boyfriend without breaking up. But before that, you need to reason why he is ignoring you. Only then can you plan your course of action well and steer the course of your relationship in the right direction.
5 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You
When your boyfriend is ignoring you, one of the first thoughts in your mind is that it could be because he has feelings for another woman. You tend to get suspicious about your boyfriend’s whereabouts and the motive behind his actions. Clara, a fitness instructor, too grappled with similar insecurities when her boyfriend started acting all distant and aloof.
“My boyfriend is ignoring me and it hurts me to think that there could be another woman in his life. But he barely wants to spend time with me, seems preoccupied all the time and doesn’t respond to my texts the way he used to. What else could it be if not cheating,” she confided in her friend. Despite being advised not to act on a hunch alone, Clara went ahead and confronted her boyfriend, accusing him of cheating on her. As it turned out, he was stressed about the possibility of being laid off in an upcoming downsizing drive at his office.
So, you see, although it may seem like the most obvious conclusion, cheating is not always the reason for your boyfriend to ignore you. It could be a work-related commitment or a personal matter which he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with you just yet. There could be many reasons for which your boyfriend is ignoring you.
Before your suspicions run high, it is important to first identify the reasons why your boyfriend could be ignoring you. Here are five reasons why your boyfriend could be ignoring you.
1. He needs space
He might be running on a tight schedule and has an unusual amount of stress at home or at work. Due to this, he might need some downtime by himself. As a girlfriend, you might not understand how talking to you or hanging out with you wouldn’t be cathartic, but everyone deals with stress differently. Honestly, there comes a point when every person needs space for himself/herself to relax or figure things out. Give him space in the relationship and tell him that you aren’t going anywhere. Tell him that you’ll be there for him whenever he thinks he is ready. This will help him cope with the situation better and will also be a mature move on your part. The reassurance that you are there for him and won’t abandon him will help him take charge of his stressful situation better as he will have one less thing to worry about. Before you begin to look for ways to avoid your boyfriend taking you for granted, remember that once a relationship begins to settle down, it’s not unusual for the constant need to be with each other to fade away as well. This is when a healthy amount of personal space becomes essential for a relationship to thrive. If you haven’t already, we strongly recommend you have a conversation with your boyfriend about it.
2. He might be dealing with a personal issue
There may be a family matter or a matter related to someone close to him that he isn’t comfortable sharing with you yet. It could be something related to his past and he doesn’t want it to complicate his present. It is important to let him figure things out on his own. This is not the time to start spying on him but rather the time to trust him and your relationship and find peace in the fact that he will confide in you when he is comfortable and ready. We know of a woman whose boyfriend had not been in touch with her for over three days and she was worried sick about the status of their relationship. When he finally got around to speaking to her, he told her he was extremely sorry about his behavior and told her that his ex-girlfriend was on her deathbed and her family had reached out to him. Since they had never discussed any past relationships, he was not sure how to bring it up to her and the situation was extremely emotional for him. They had a long, deep conversation about this and she supported him through his grief. This made their relationship stronger than ever. So, don’t start making plans to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson at the first hint of distance or aloofness from him. Give him the benefit of the doubt, a chance to explain himself before you reach a conclusion about his intention and plan ways to get back at him.
3. He is mad at you about something
If you two recently had an argument and he is ignoring you, it means that he is giving you the silent treatment. There could be two reasons behind it – one, he wants to take the time to cool down and gather his thoughts. He doesn’t want to be around the negativity of the argument so he wants to spend some time apart to evaluate the best way to resolve the conflict before he sees you again.
Two, he is using the silent treatment as a way of manipulating you and exercising control over your mind, thoughts and behavior. If it’s the former, it’s actually a promising sign that indicates that your boyfriend is a mature, level-headed person. He doesn’t want to hurt you by saying mean things that he can’t take back in the heat of the moment. The real question you need to be asking yourself here isn’t “Why is my boyfriend ignoring me? but “How do I make up with my boyfriend after a fight?”
Anger takes you nowhere and terrible things can happen when anger takes over the mind. So sometimes it’s better to sulk and ignore than have heated altercations. However, if it is the latter, then you have a relationship red flag staring you in the face. Don’t overlook it. Pay attention to your boyfriend’s patterns. If he stonewalls you after every argument or fight and continues to do so until you give into his demands, he is a manipulative, emotionally abusive boyfriend. You need to take measures to protect yourself sooner rather than later.
4. He is cheating
Here comes every girlfriend’s nightmare. If your boyfriend is ignoring your calls and texts and his phone is constantly busy every time you try to call him, chances are that he is cheating. If your boyfriend is cheating, he will keep making excuses to avoid you and will avoid plans where he can be seen in public with you. He will always be smiling at his phone and when you confront him, he will say that it is a work thing. He might also become extremely possessive of his phone and won’t let you use it even when you ask. A reader once told us that her boyfriend would sleep with his phone in his pocket and she found this very strange. This behavior continued for a month and then he told her he was in love with someone else. You will need to look more closely for signs of a cheating boyfriend to ensure you are not just being a possessive girlfriend. So cheating could be a solid reason why your boyfriend is ignoring you. If that’s the case, you know what to do when your boyfriend ignores you. Have a conversation with him, and then, assess whether you want to try forgiving a cheating boyfriend or end things and move on.
5. He is looking to break up
Many a time, men feel scared to break up upfront and think about ways to make you break up with them. One of the tricks that men often resort to in order to get you to initiate the breakup is by starting to ignore you. Being ghosted after having been in a relationship is one of the surest signs a breakup is near.
This immature behavior will likely frustrate you and you will be motivated to call things off. This saves him the guilt of coming across as the bad guy and also saves him from having the difficult “we need to break up” conversation with you. So when your boyfriend ignores you he could be trying to move away. In that case, don’t ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson, instead confront him, tell him how his actions have been impacting you and pull the plug on the relationship.
Another reason could be that your boyfriend is still contemplating what to do and is ignoring you because he hasn’t decided yet whether he wants to break it off or not. The reason for a breakup may not always be a cheating boyfriend. There could be other issues in the relationship which are not working out which may make your boyfriend feel that a breakup would be the best thing for you both.
8 Ways To Ignore Your Boyfriend When He Ignores You
After a heated argument, your boyfriend might have started ignoring you. You feel sorry about the fight and start thinking about making up with him, but your boyfriend ignores all your texts and calls. You want to make up with him after the fight. You want him to miss you the way you are missing him. How do you make him miss you after a fight when he is ignoring you? Or perhaps, you have been noticing that your boyfriend is acting all distant. The warmth is lacking in his gestures, his touch, the way he behaves around you. What should you do in such a situation? Reach out or distance yourself from your boyfriend without breaking up? If you do choose to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson, how far can you take it without it affecting your relationship? Truly, it’s not easy to figure out what to do when your boyfriend ignores you. That’s what we’re here for. To help you out of this quandary with these 8 ways to ignore your boyfriend when he ignores you so that he starts missing you:
1. To ignore your boyfriend, do not go after him
Get some space away from your boyfriend. Going after him might worsen the situation and he might feel suffocated by you. Ignore your boyfriend and make him miss you. If you’ve had a fight or have been going through a rough patch, some alone time will help you assess the situation better and you’ll be able to make decisions more calmly. Occupy yourself with soothing activities like drawing or cooking. Sometimes taking a walk helps. This downtime from your relationship will help you decide your next course of action. As a bonus, it will also give your boyfriend the time he needs to calm down and gather his thoughts. Whatever you do, don’t spend the night at your boyfriend’s place. Depending on the severity of your circumstances, you can also choose to ignore your boyfriend on WhatsApp, social media, FaceTime etc by not responding to his texts and calls. When he realizes that you’re not there for him, it will make him miss you even more and understand the seriousness of the situation. Sometimes ignoring your boyfriend when he is ignoring you is good for your relationship. That way you can stand up for yourself and not come across as the clingy girlfriend.
2. Spend time with your people
Instead of feeling alone at home, spend time with your close friends and family. You will already be feeling anxious and upset if your boyfriend has been ignoring you. You need the distraction as well as the love and warmth your loved ones bring into your life to stop obsessing over the what, why and how of it all and checking your phone every 10 secs to see if he has replied. This will worsen your mood and won’t help you calmly deal with the situation. Surrounding yourself with people who love and value you is sometimes the simplest way to avoid your boyfriend taking you for granted without it. When all else fails, call your bestie and tell her what is going on and trust her to do the rest. She will make sure she keeps your mind off things. Have a girl’s night out or take a short trip. Going for small adventures around the city will take the argument off your mind for a moment. You will feel lighter and might even go back to being cheerful again. And, you will also manage to successfully ignore your boyfriend for some time at least.
3. Keep contact to minimal
What to do when your boyfriend ignores you? Do whatever you need to do to stay firm on your resolve to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson until he realizes the error of his ways. For instance, when you have an encounter with your boyfriend, avoid making direct eye contact with him. Looking directly at him might cause you to cave in and you will not be able to ignore him any longer. To distance yourself from your boyfriend without breaking up, you could also use the power of silence to your advantage. For instance, you can ignore your boyfriend on WhatsApp or other personal messengers by turning off your read receipts and not responding to any texts from him until he realizes that he has messed up or you get clarity on what you’d like to do next. If you want him to feel sorry for ignoring you, then you need to stand your ground and continue the silent treatment until he realizes you won’t tolerate this behavior in the future. Be less attached to your boyfriend. You need to show him that you are strong with or without him. This way you can ignore your boyfriend when he ignores you as well. When you ignore a guy how does he feel? Remember he feels as dejected as you do, only he doesn’t mention it. So if you turn your face away from you, chances are he will realize what he has been doing to you.
4. Ignore his calls and texts
In this day and age, can you even get the message that you’re upset with the way he’s been treating you unless you hold back on your communication in the virtual realm? No, right? So, be prepared to ignore your boyfriend on WhatsApp, Messenger, SnapChat, Instagram or whatever platform you use to communicate. If your boyfriend finally starts calling you, it’s your turn to ignore and leave him on read. Seeing his texts you might feel the urge to reply to him instantly but you need to exercise restraint. If self-control isn’t your strongest suit, turn your phone off instead or keep it on silent and distract yourself with some activity that you enjoy. Don’t message your boyfriend who is ignoring you. You could even keep your phone in a different room if you can’t resist checking it every 2 minutes. Sometimes, giving him a taste of his own medicine will stop him from doing this in the future. Not responding to him will keep him waiting for your reply and he will start thinking about you. You could be thinking how can you ignore your boyfriend when you live together? Just stay in your own world and behave as if he doesn’t exist. If he asks you about the unseen messages, just show him you have switched off your phone.
5. Do not initiate a conversation with him
If you feel that your boyfriend is taking you for granted, you need to stop being the one who always initiates the call or text. Let your boyfriend call or text you first. Let him take some initiative too. Learning how to avoid your boyfriend can be as simple as not being at his beck and call all the time. If you feel like calling him, go out and take a walk or call your best friend instead. Occupy yourself in other things so that you don’t feel the urge to call or text your boyfriend first. It’s best not to message your boyfriend when he is ignoring you. Although you will have the overarching urge to do so but don’t cave in. This will let your boyfriend know that he needs to apologize at times too and you won’t put up with him treating you badly. With a little pushback, you will be able to reiterate your boundaries in the relationship and set yourself free from the toxic cycle of “my boyfriend is ignoring me and it hurts”.
6. Give him the silent treatment
Does silence make a man miss you? Well, surely there are a few benefits of silent treatment, sooner or later, he will start to notice. He will start thinking about the things he did wrong and will try to make amends. He will also start missing you and start valuing you more. It will be like the trigger he needed to start taking the relationship seriously from his side and handle fights more maturely in the future. Go ahead, ignore him for a week and see the results. Chances are he will not dare to ignore you again. When your relationship is going through a rough patch, it can be healthy to distance yourself from your boyfriend without breaking up. As the old adage goes, distance makes the hearts grow fonder. Some time apart will do you both a world of good and give you a fresh perspective on your relationship. Reconciliation becomes a lot easier after that.
7. Make your responses short and monosyllabic
When you see his texts, don’t start jumping with joy and tell him how excited and happy you are that he finally texted you back. Instead, give him time to think about his actions and respond with short and unenthusiastic responses like “hmm”, “okay”, “I see”, etc. so he knows you are upset with him. Don’t be the one carrying the conversation by asking him questions. Let him ask you questions about you instead. Let him show he is genuinely interested to break the ice then only should you respond more warmly. But if your boyfriend is still showing his attitude then go ahead and keep ignoring him. Yes, the rules of texting while dating or in a relationship can seem quite complex sometimes. When you have been missing your boyfriend for days, it can be hard to not respond to his texts. But don’t lose sight of your goal here – to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson – and remember sometimes you have to swallow a bitter pill for the greater good.
8. Ignore your boyfriend and slow things down for some time
Your boyfriend’s behavior is getting to your head. You can’t stand him ignoring you like this. It is obvious that you have certain expectations from your boyfriend and he is not living up to them. If this is the case, then it might be in your best interest to take some time apart and evaluate your relationship. Slow things down for a while so that you both can figure out what you want from the relationship and whether you see a future together. Ask yourself if you are okay with your boyfriend replacing your dates with his work and other commitments or other actions that might be frustrating you. Your partner may ignore you sometimes due to his hectic schedule but being ignored repeatedly is not acceptable and you need to make your partner realize it. There will be times when playing the role of an understanding girlfriend will wear off and lead to frustration. Relationships are about compromise and both need to talk to each other and work out a common solution to make the relationship work. Don’t let yourself be taken for granted.
